You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
