Don't you send me to vm
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
