i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
