so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
