So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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