it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
