Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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