whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
