You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
