We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
