She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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