new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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