I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
