I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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