Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
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