All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
that is very illegal...i love you.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
