She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
