2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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