they need to just BURY HIM!
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
