Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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