My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
