For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
