I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
