Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
