There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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