Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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