Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
