I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
