I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
be right there i have to get my cape
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
