Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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