my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
