i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
