cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
