I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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