if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
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