She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
