when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
