ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
