That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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