Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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