You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
