I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
