Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
