good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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