I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
