I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼‍♀️
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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