as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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