i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Randomize
