They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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