I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
