I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
